On death

8/14/2024

My childhood best friend David Gonzalez lost his life in December 2022.

I also recently read Untethered Soul which has a nice chapter about death.

So I've found myself thinking about death on an almost daily basis. Meditating on death has a better connotation for what it really is.

I used to only have the logical side of the randomness of death to reflect on, but I now have gotten to live and feel through it. I find gratitude in this. My relationship with death has grown in the last two years. Where before I could imagine the possibility of not getting to live a long life, I now feel the possibility.

That nice chapter in Untethered Soul talks about not fearing death and living in a way where if you found out you had 2 months left you wouldn't change a thing. Part of me does find comfort in writings and teachings like this. Part of me finds comfort in that if something were to happen to me, I wouldn't even be there to notice. Being dead forever would feel like all the time in the past when I hadn't been born yet.

A greater part of me does fear dying early

I try to let that fear drive my gratitude for life and the life of those around me.

And it has driven me to make things like this as an insurance policy that at least some part of my consciousness will remain.